Elon is a Genius.com

Tag: Genius

  • It’s genius to not be an idiot

    It’s genius to not be an idiot

    The last week has made me realize that I have large trade deficits with many corporations, and this is unacceptable.

    I would have a trade deficit of course when my imports exceed my exports. An import is when I purchase goods or services in exchange for money. An export is when I receive money for supplying goods or services.

    It’s stunning how many corporations take more of my money than money I receive from them. One of the biggest culprits: my local grocery store, Kroger.

    I have carefully calculated that in the last year, I have imported $2,143.91 worth of goods and services from Kroger, and exported $6.99 worth of goods and services. This is an absolutely shocking ratio of 177.96 to 1.

    Perhaps you are wondering what some of these imports and exports are. Here are some examples of imports:

    • Caesar salad kit, $3.99
    • Whole chicken, $12.81 (this seems like a good deal to me, but Donald says I’m being taken advantage of?)
    • Chocolate-filled croissants: $4.99

    And here is an exhaustive list of all of the exports on my list:

    That’s the entire list of exports! I’m obviously doing something wrong. Many other people seem to be selling products to Kroger, or else the shelves would be empty.

    And even children are selling products to Kroger! Or I guess just selling products in Kroger? I should disclose that I also have a $60 trade deficit with the Girl Scouts, mostly in Thin Mints.

    My only successful export so far has been those potentially deadly waffles; maybe I should stock up on products that I think might later be recalled?

    Donald Trump says that the only solution is for me to levee tariffs on all future imports from Kroger. And given the magnitude of the trade imbalance I have with Kroger, it’s clear that the tariff number needs to be commensurately large. Maybe the 104% that Trumps’ about to level on China is about right? I will ask Kroger to pay these, but I think only Donald Trump believes that’s how it works; I know I’ll be eating these costs. (And probably eating less food.)

    But there’s an issue here, and that’s that Trump’s tariffs are going to increase my import costs, even if I don’t charge my own tariffs!

    So good news- 30% of my tariff is already in place!

    This website is all about Elon Musk and how smart he is. And Elon seems to be strongly against these enormous tariffs:

    Musk made direct appeals to Trump to reverse new tariffs, Washington Post reports

    Trump is a self-proclaimed stable genius, and I’ve declared Elon, um, a not very stable genius? So who’s right in this battle of geniuses, this battle of wits to the death [of the country?] Here are the options as I see them:

    Either:

    Trump is very smart, and trade deficits are bad and they’re basically a tariffs and Trump’s new tariffs are going to immediately bring manufacturing back to the United States even though that will take 10+ years and prices will skyrocket? And Elon is not smart and doesn’t understand the genius of this stable genius.

    Or …

    Trump’s views on trade are on the level of a 5-year-old, and he somehow thinks that a trade deficit is inherently bad, just like my Kroger trade deficit is bad. (Seriously, the chickens are a really good deal!) And that a trade deficit is a tariff which is an absolutely absurd thing to believe and you’d have to question the sanity of anyone who thinks that. And Elon, genius though he is, doesn’t even need to be a genius to figure out that this is such a fundamental misunderstanding of basic economics. Not even basic economics, just basic common sense.

    You don’t have to be a genius to see the answer is behind door #2. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to Kroger. Again.

  • It’s genius to lie constantly

    It’s genius to lie constantly

    Sometimes here at Elon is a Genius we may employ sarcasm to make a point. Satire is a great way to make a point, and it’s fun!

    But this may end up just being an accurate and straightforward post. See, Elon lies. A lot. Sometimes, he knows he’s lying. But more often he seems to act like a small child; maybe if you say something you want it will actually come true!

    This is an ongoing pattern at Tesla. The Cybertruck is bulletproof!

    Photo credit: Robert Hanashiro | USA TODAY | Reuters

    Here’s another headline that tells you everything you need to know about this lie:

    Elon Musk Has Been Promising Self-Driving Cars For 10 Years [Update – We Are Now On Year 11]

    Rolling Stone had a pretty good headline, but the subtitle is exquisite:

    The billionaire simply can’t stop making shit up

    Moving on from Tesla, Slate has the perfect combination of headline and subtitle in an article about Elon’s purchase of Twitter:

    Elon Musk Keeps Lying About One Very Specific Thing

    Even his supporters should be fed up with this.

    But Musk’s constant lying about Twitter’s bot situation should be different. Nobody likes bots, and Musk has spent many months concocting ludicrous claims about them. Everyone should be annoyed. When he tried to get out of buying Twitter, he said bots were rampant. Since being forced to follow through on his purchase, he has claimed the opposite. Neither position has been honest. Fourteen months after Musk made his deal, and nine after he took over, something has become clear about his public statements: If he’s talking about bots, he is absolutely full of it, and nobody should believe him.

    So, it seems plausible that when Elon now says that “[Democrats are using] Social Security, disability [and] Medicaid … as a gigantic magnetic force to pull people [illegally] in from all around the world and keep them here” well, you should probably take the default stance that he’s lying? Maybe unknowingly lying, but still lying. Lying until proven honest is a good rule of thumb whenever Elon opens his mouth.

    CNN debunks this pretty well, but the quick summary is:

    • “It is not legal for the undocumented to apply for Social Security, Medicare or disability”
    • “noncitizens cannot vote in federal elections” contrary to another lie from Elon’s mouth
    • “the undocumented cannot vote in New York elections” contrary to yet another lie from Elon’s mouth

    Lies, lies, and more lies. It’s genius! Why? Well, it seems like Elon gets away with it pretty regularly. Tesla is still a massively valuable company, even though it’s lost about half of it’s value since Elon decided to start lying at the Federal level.

    He also lied about not being an illegal immigrant back in 1995. “I had no money for a lab and no legal right to stay in the country” he said of that time.

    Obviously, there’s not going to be a penalty for that lie either. If you can keep getting away with it, why not keep lying?

    Genius.

  • It’s genius to cut critical jobs.

    It’s genius to cut critical jobs.

    Without question, it makes a person look stupid if they fire someone and then immediately try to re-hire them. Oops— turns out the person in charge had no idea what that employee actually did! Maybe they weren’t so useless after all!

    And so it sure does look stupid when Elon tried to fire air traffic controllers. Yup, Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy says that Elon’s DOGE team tried to fire air traffic controllers. Elon called that a lie, which must also mean that Elon has no idea what his staff is doing?

    Then President Trump helpfully told them both to “hire geniuses from M.I.T.” but it seems like maybe you’d want to hire geniuses from Air Traffic Control School instead?

    This is far from the only example of Elon trying and/or succeeding in firing critical workers. This headline speaks for itself: “Embarrassed Elon Musk hastily rehires fired nuclear employees after dreadful DOGE error“

    This headline is perfect too. Maybe this entire post should just be fun headlines that explain everything? “Energy department forced to rehire fired employees after major DOGE mistake caused security concerns“

    But those are both about nuclear scientists; maybe the people who oversee America’s nuclear stockpile aren’t an example of wasteful spending? Who would have thought?

    There are plenty more examples, as the Associated Press notes:

    The CDC is the latest federal agency trying to coax back workers soon after they were dismissed as part of President Donald Trump’s and billionaire Elon Musk’s cost-cutting purge. Similar reversals have been made among employees responsible for medical device oversight, food safety, bird flu response, nuclear weapons and national parks.

    This makes Elon look like an absolute buffoon. Firing someone and then begging them to come back, and doing that thousands of times? It’s moronic.

    But here’s the genius in the buffoonery. Everyone’s now talking about the important services that the Federal Government provides to American citizens. Of course we want safe medical devices, and bird flu monitoring, and nuclear weapons oversights, and oh yeah air traffic controllers. Are you, as a taxpaying resident of the United States, willing to chip in a few dollars a year for each of these services? Of course you are.

    And now you know more about where your taxes are going! It’s genius. Just like when Elon tells you that Social Security payments are going to 150-year-old people and anyone with any knowledge of the situation will tell you that’s not true and that Elon is either lying or an idiot. Or both! But now you know that Social Security has pretty good systems in place to minimize fraud!

    Elon is brilliantly using Cunningham’s Law, which “is the observation that the best way to get a good or right answer is not to ask a question; it’s to post a wrong answer.”

    Sometimes those wrong answers are absurd claims that Elon makes. And when people jump in to correct his obviously ludicrous and simple-minded claims, we learn a little more about all of the parts of the government that are helping average Americans. It’s nothing short of genius.

  • It’s genius to ignore your children

    It’s genius to ignore your children

    Do you know how many children Elon Musk has? That’s probably a silly question; you almost certainly do not.

    Perhaps a better question is: Does Elon know how many children Elon has? The answer is almost definitely? I mean, probably? Surely yes?

    To make this a little easier, here’s a little quiz for you:

    How many children does Elon Musk have?

    A. 2 kids with his lovely wife.

    B. 5 kids, some with his first wife and some with his second wife.

    C. 10 children, as ChatGPT thinks.

    D. 14 children, including 8 born since 2020, with 4 different women, including 1 named X Æ A-12, though his name was later changed to X Æ A-Xii.

    Did you guess D? You’re right! You can see all of the details in Vanity Fair’s article entitled “Elon Musk’s 14 Children and Their Mothers (That We Know Of): A Handy Guide” Handy indeed!

    The genius here is how little contact he has with most of them! One of them is transgender, and Elon claims that this very alive daughter was “killed” by the “woke mind virus.“

    With one of the other baby mothers, he filed for divorce in Texas, apparently so that he wouldn’t have to pay as much in child support. That means he only has to pay $2,760 per month , or $920 per child per month.

    Let’s think about that number: $920. Suppose you’re a pretty well off American, and you have a net worth of $2 million. Elon is worth about $350 billion right now, give or take a few tens of billions.

    That $920 a month Elon pays is the equivalent of our well off American paying just one half of one penny every month. Or, for all 3 kids, 1.6 cents. Wouldn’t you fight to make sure you were divorced in Texas to make sure you didn’t pay more than that?

    That’s the genius of having little contact with your children (except for the occasional photo op with X Æ A-Xii): It’s so much cheaper than actually raising them and spending time with them and caring about them! Simple, efficient, cost-effective genius.

  • Elon is a Genius for Lying to a Judge

    Elon is a Genius for Lying to a Judge

    Suppose you send an e-mail to every federal employee, asking for a list of 5 things they did last week. (You may also enjoy seeing Tesla shareholders asking Elon the same thing, but of course Elon’s plans are definitely genius-er than we will ever understand!)

    Then, you get sued for that by lawyers representing some Federal employees, because sending that e-mail and requiring a response may not be allowed. Oopsie!

    You probably know most of that already, and you may not see the genius in it. But we need to keep going, inside the courtroom. See, Elon’s lawyers argued that the e-mail was fine, very legal and very cool. Because they’re totally voluntary! See judge, look at our policy! Anyone can opt out of this fun game we’re playing by just not responding! Look- here’s the proof in our official document!

    (Image and the pretty red pen are from this post on Bluesky by Josh Marshall from Talking Points Memo.

    That’s pretty compelling. The judge probably thought so too. But also, Elon sent out a Tweet (an X?) that used a slightly different version of the word “voluntary”:

    And then! They changed the wording of that original document! And didn’t tell the judge about it! Simply genius. Here’s the current version of the document:

    It’s different! and not-so-voluntary sounding.

    This is the true genius of Elon that not many people understand. Why don’t other people just change a document, show a judge that version, and then change the document afterwards? Why bother changing it at all? Why not just show the judge a changed document?

    Some people might call that a fraudulent document, and the process of changing it fraud. But the genius of Elon surely just sees this as clever.

  • It’s genius to stop protecting consumers

    It’s genius to stop protecting consumers

    Today, Elon and friends shut down the CFPB, the Consumer Financial Protection Board. That saves the Federal Government about $810 million (PDF link) a year. Americans no longer have to pay that money every year! There are 5 employees who do still have to work there because that’s the law, so let’s call it $809.4 million.

    There are some pesky looking facts at first glance. It is estimated that the CFPB did save Americans about $20 billion in total, or about $1.4 billion per year. So technically Americans saved money by having the CFPB around, at least on average.

    Oh, also, the savings are much bigger than that. See, that’s just money they have directly returned to Americans. Then there are the additional savings from regulations they have put in place to prevent onerous payday lending fees, Their rule to close the Overdraft Fee Loophole would save another $5 billion or so per year. Add in the rule to cap credit card late fees and you get another $10 billion per year. Payday lender rules would save even more.

    So American taxpayers saved $810 MM, but assuming these rules disappear (or are no longer enforced) they will pay about $16 billion more in fees and fraud and other financial problems. That’s a savings of … negative $180 for each family in America! Straight into their pocket. Er, out of their pocket.

    But the genius is that there are more pockets! That $16 billion goes straight into the pocket of financial firms that can charge exorbitant fees again, or just plan commit fraud! Woo hoo!

    Would you be surprised if I told you that financial stocks were the biggest gainers on the stock market today?

    (Source: Bloomberg)

    Back to the genius. Corporations get to keep that extra money as profit. And some they will give straight back to the government as taxes! (Though not as much as you think.) Their stock price will also go up with increased profits. And they can even decide to donate some of the new windfall to politicians, and maybe even Elon! Like a thank you gift. It’s genius.

    Remember those ads on TV where “For just $15 a month, you can sponsor a child in need?” Well, that’s exactly what’s happening here! For just $15 a month, your family can sponsor a mega financial corporation in need of endless profit growth. And no one will complain, because it’s not like it’s a tax increase. It’s just an invisible tax, and who’s going to protest that?

    Genius.

  • It’s Genius to Spread Ebola

    It’s Genius to Spread Ebola

    One day, Elon decided to cut just about all funding to USAID. The only exceptions were aid to Israel, Egypt, and some food programs. That means that every single other program under USAID would be cut. And that includes USAID’s efforts to stop the spread of Ebola.

    Elon said that this program was “accidentally canceled.” He also said that, “We will make mistakes. We won’t be perfect.” And earlier he also said that “Some of the things that I say will be incorrect” so now I’m not sure whether to trust that Elon or the other Elon?

    Anyway, it’s weird to cancel every single USAID program except for a specific few and then say that one of the canceled programs was canceled by accident. But genius can be weird sometimes.

    Of course, it’s really hard to destroy something and then say Oops! and undo the damage you did. You can’t unstir the jam from the tea, as Tom Stoppard taught us. And this seems like a lesson that Elon might have already learned a couple of weeks ago, when he fired a bunch of nuclear scientists and then tried to rehire them but couldn’t find them. Seriously– here’s the quote from the BBC:

    The Trump administration has since tried to reverse their terminations, according to media outlets, but has reportedly struggled to reach the people that were fired after they were locked out of their federal email accounts.

    Oopsie!

    It all seems so ridiculous, but then there’s yet another twist in the Ebola situation, according to the Washington Post:

    Hours after Musk asserted that USAID had restored its Ebola prevention efforts, the agency informed several organizations working with the U.S. government to prevent the spread of the virus overseas that their contracts had been terminated, according to two people who spoke on the condition of anonymity to discuss a sensitive situation.

    So they canceled the Ebola funding, said Oopsie, said they undid the cancellation, and THEN terminated the contracts of organizations working to prevent the spread of Ebola.

    https://timelessmoon.getarchive.net/amp/media/ebola-isolation-infection-a66c3a

    It all seems incompetent and at least borderline negligent.

    But that’s just to someone who doesn’t see the genius in Elon’s maneuvering. See, previous Ebola outbreaks have been stopped, after thousands of very smart and very dedicated people worked to stop them. You end up with great pride-inducing headlines like these:

    Ebola: How a killer disease was stopped in its tracks

    (That one is from 2018, when Trump was president but he hadn’t get given Elon the keys to the … well, everything.)

    Ebola Outbreak in Uganda Is Over: Here’s What Went Right 

    (That one is from 2023, when Biden was president. See, lots of presidents can stop Ebola!)

    The problem with this headlines, and this should be obvious, is that we just don’t know how many people Ebola would have killed without the significant investments in intervention. Maybe a hundred. Maybe a million? More?

    Scientists know the only way to answer this questions is through experimentation. And so Elon, in his typical genius way, is answering this question. He’s running an experiment to see how many people will die if we don’t bother to try to stop Ebola! Only then will we know how effective our previous efforts truly were.

    Before you assume incompetence, look for the genius.

  • It’s genius to understand straight lines!

    It’s genius to understand straight lines!

    I am not a genius, but I think the following two things are true about airplanes:

    1. In general, flying in a straight line to your destination is probably the fastest option, and uses the least amount of fuel.
    2. But, there are exceptions! Like if there’s a mountain in the way. Or another airplane. Or a thunderstorm. Or an area that you’re not allowed to fly over. Or crazy wind.

    Elon clearly understands #1 amazingly well. So brilliant:

    (Yes, this is real! Here’s the tweet and here’s the response.)

    Many people may not know about restricted airspaces. So those people are likely not aware that at any given moment, there are lots of areas where normal commercial or private planes are not allowed to fly. Here’s a handy map, courtesy of the FAA:

    These are called SUA, or Special Use Airspaces. One of these is the White Sands Missile Range, an Army base in New Mexico.

    Using my incredible graphic design skills, I have drawn a straight line between San Francisco and Houston:

    That line passes directly over the White Sands Missile Range, and probably several other restricted airspaces at the time of this flight. (For example, there was also a Blue Origin rocket launch on that date as well, which launched from West Texas.)

    Most ordinary citizens wouldn’t be aware of these restrictions. But of course Elon is no ordinary citizen! He has his private pilot’s license! Also, he wants to overhaul the FAA and the air traffic control system!

    So it’s simply absurd to think that Elon wouldn’t know the answer to the age-old riddle of “Why don’t planed always fly in straight lines?” He does. So what’s up with his seemingly asinine response?

    Remember that we believe that Elon is a genius. We’re nearly positive that Elon has a brilliant plan to use crazy smart AI to magically coordinate the firing of the test missiles and rockets with the arrival of airplanes through the airspace. Imagine when you’re flying there’s just a constant stream of near-misses as missiles and rockets and other airplanes whoosh by right outside your window. And better yet, you’ll get to your destination 12 minutes faster!

    The alternative is to realize that Elon is an idiot, but who would really think that?

  • It’s genius to make up numbers!

    It’s genius to make up numbers!

    Today the New York Times had an article titled: “DOGE Quietly Deletes the 5 Biggest Spending Cuts It Celebrated Last Week.“

    The biggest cut on the old (wrong) list was an $8 Billion cut to ICE, the U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement. Even a casual common sense check would have led any reasonable person to realize that this doesn’t make sense. The entire ICE budget for a year is only $8.5 billion!

    But Elon is not a man with a reasonable amount of common sense. Or perhaps we just don’t see the genius in this decision? Perhaps Elon was slyly trying to send a message to President Trump that the President should stop his crackdown on immigration? After all, Elon was also in the United States illegally for a while! It’s clearly a genius move to come to terms with his past.

    Okay, so … so what if the DOGE website said that they had cut $8 billion from ICE when they really cut $8 million, a savings of well over 2 cents to every man, woman and child in the United States. So what if they confused “ceiling values” (the maximum they could spend on a project) with what was actually spent on a different project? So what if that meant that a $655 million savings was actually only a savings of $18 million, along with a loss of some good programs at USAID? What was the point of these absurd mistakes?

    There are really only 2 possible explanations. First, that Elon is an utter buffoon who has the math skills of a mediocre 6th grader and is so clearly incompetent that he would be immediately fired from any job with even passably competent management.

    Or, that Elon is a genius who knew that these errors would get headlines, and then that most people wouldn’t notice the quiet correction and would think that DOGE is actually saving the taxpayers non-trivial amounts of money.

    And come on, which one is more likely? Do you really think this guy looks like an utter buffoon?

    (Photo from Gage Skidmore and used under a Creative Commons ShareAlike license.)

    Here at Elon Is A Genius, you know which one we’re choosing!